first practice for the year, season-opener episode

as usual i was terrified and to the brink of throwing up. but it was a big help that i had gone to the gym the night before and made myself almost purple on the cardio machines. it prepped me up a bit.

so i picked up my sis and we went to the dojo (navigating that steep and twisty incline into the parking lot no longer terrifies me, at least. i almost ran over the guard the first time i attempted it.)

both edward and jacob were there. and the gravity of what ukitake told me over the holiday break sank in just a little bit deeper at that moment. it certainly changed my feelings and perspectives as i walked in and saw them. edward was at the sign-in desk and he had the initiative to greet first, saying happy new year, as i was studiously delaying having to talk with either of them until i have sufficiently composed myself.

then we went to find our spot in the now-increasing group of advanced students. seeing my tribe gave me that feeling of quiet pleasure. our boys are the sweetest ever. i swear. all smiles and fondness and affection and that super sweet scrambling to accommodate us girls and make our dojo life as comfortable as possible. god i must seem to have a really deprived girlhood hahaha!

i watched jacob expertly inch his way towards me and there was a bit of small talk as i prepared to do my cleaning duties. he seemed very cheerful.

after cleaning i fixed my armor and rested. i noted that edward and jacob were doing their stretches and light practice separately. usually they would be play-sparring. that day they seemed distant.

usually they would approach at the same time, or would join when the other is with me. yesterday there was a clear separate-ness. when the one approached, the other stayed away. could be my imagination. but this story has been going on for months and i guess i could fairly tell when the routines and habits have changed even for a bit.

edward approached. started a conversation. yachiru somehow conveniently easing herself and another classmate farther away so that edward and i were the only ones talking. in what i hoped a subtle manner my eyes scanned for jacob and spotted him across the room. yes, i saw him look.

practice was good. byakuya-sama led the session and he always has the right kind of intensity that beats me within an inch of my capacity but does not kill me. the younger teachers usually send me over to death and i have to resurrect myself one way or another.

usually, old man yama would watch over us girls and assign us to a separate practice group - less intense and more tutorial than the hard-core seniors. he did that during the first half of the session, moving me and the rest of the girls with the new set of advanced students led by jacob. the first session is when we do sets of practice strikes as dictated by byakuya-sama.

the second session is when sparring happens. as we were putting on our armor, old man yama approached rangiku beside me and asked her to join the separate practice group. yachiru opted to join there too. and then old man yama gave me the option to join or to stay. it would only be too easy to opt for the easier practice group (and to spend the session in the same group as jacob who has been assigned to handle it). but as i've said, there have been too much delay and procrastination for my part. so with a slight shiver inside me i said i would stay with the senior batch. he asked me "are you sure? you'll be okay?" and i nodded with as much conviction and confidence as i could muster.

so, yay! i did a brave thing. pushed myself maybe just a little notch higher than the usual. i got to fight with jinta (who was so serious), the big red dog (who showed off stuff he picked up from youtube), chopstix (who was so nice and gave me pointers), an unknown senior (who was good and didn't baby me too much), and a nice long sparring with renji-kun who was smiling most of the time, gave me pointers and with whom i had lots of crashing into (teehee).

after practice edward sat with us. and eventually it was just him and me sitting there talking. i was waiting for the usual casual invite to join the group for the evening but no one seemed to be bringing it up. so i asked if we were doing the usual and that's the only time the idea seemed to have occurred to him. weird.

after he left jacob approached and then it was conversation with jacob. and then jacob asked me if there were plans after so i informed him. weird. why aren't they talking?

of course jacob picked me up. we had dinner. then a movie (the curious case of benjamin button). the group consisted of myself, edward, jacob, ururu, jinta and hanatarou.

by some cosmic twist i ended up sitting between you know whos. and i guess i made my preference clear (if anyone cared anough to wonder) by leaning more towards my right (where jacob sat).

jacob took me home. and he stayed for about an hour trying to fix my dvd player. my xenophobic cat actually approached him, played with him and allowed to be petted by him. it was the strangest thing to watch my cat being that friendly.

it's jacob. still jacob.