the morning after

yes i am all moved in. i spent my first night last night (or more accurately, this morning, since i got home at about half past three.)

it feels nice and strange.

and not to mention i've been driving on my own. i even dropped my dad off instead of the other way around.

i'm also back in the dojo loop. i mean i went out with the group last night. last night it was just me, ururu, edward and jacob. and yes we watched Twilight.

i'm re-reading the book so i will reserve my comments on the movie until then. but i did find the part where they forced the apple-in-hand-cover-of-the-book imagery rather off. i like how they introduced jacob early on though. and i like that part where edward and bella went "official" in the campus and everyone was looking and he put his arm around her as they went into the school building. (yeah, there's a bit of wishful thinking bias there.)

i'm going to go in details much later but for now let me list everything i could remember in notes (i am referring to my own twisted bella-esque story):
- fortune cookies
- something about cherry flavors
- the starbucks linger
- the 'why don't you get a room and get it over with' candidate scene
- ever handy Zero
- sharpening tongues
- fringe moments (fixing up and blueberry)
- all that staring

i had fun last night. a bit of a struggle to remain neutral because my feelings for jacob does tend to spill over sometimes. like an addiction you've gone to rehab for but still couldn't help feeling the anticipation of the rush when you think about losing all that self-control and discipline.

semi-moved in

i've moved some clothes over.

but today i got a haircut and a hair treatment. i got bangs now :D. slightly anime-ish, which i like, although the peg i gave the stylist is Anne Hathaway's bangs and layers in The Devil Wears Prada. i also think i finally found my favorite salon : Shunji Matsuo, right in the neighborhood.


took me most of the afternoon. so basically i'm running late on everything. and i wasn't able to get to the bank in time --- now the ATM lines are a mile long. bummer.

tonight i'll pack everything else and then wake up seriously early tomorrow (like 6AM!) and maybe have breakfast out and go to the bank and then move everything else to the condo. then do my first grocery shopping. (my mom wants to tag along and even promised to help clean.)

i won't be practicing yet but i'll be attending to watch. and then of course, tomorrow is Twilight night. and tomorrow night i'll be going home at the condo already.

maiden voyage

i drove to work today. dropped off my sister at her office. then went to my own office. took a lot of time getting parked.

yes i drove to work without my dad's supervision. he had to be in the hospital for a scheduled check-up and it so happened that i needed to be at work very early and couldn't wait for him to get back.

and so i discovered the best time to go to work: before 7am.

parking was tricky. i had to maneuver and adjust a gazillion times. finally i managed to slide in without scraping the wall nor bumping the car behind me. although my right wheels are bordering on the borderline.

anyway, i got in before 730am. i had a meeting at 730am. we had a big presentation today. i did pretty well, i think. i literally got a pat on the back from one of my bosses. :)

i splurged a bit today to celebrate my first independent driving moment. and also a treat for the presentation. and for completing all the stuff i have to do for the day at work plus a couple of extras.

last thirty minutes

i'm leaving in half an hour.

i'm the last person on our floor. but there's still some people on the sixth, and maybe a few on the fifth. i'm finally done with my presentation slides for tomorrow morning. it's a new business pitch and it's a very important project. i hope we win it.

i have another project to finish but i am tired. i'll squeeze it in after the morning presentation and before the meeting where i am supposed to submit it. it's actually just a collation of some data but i have to make sure everything's clean and properly written. very tedious.

i missed yoga practice tonight *cry* because i got stuck in a meeting that lasted until six-thirty.


and now i feel bad that i had McDonald's for dinner. all that junk and no yoga. no gym either. i can only check the gym i discovered near the office tomorrow after the morning pitch.

i feel like i am in a "finishing off" stage. maybe it's because i will be moving out over the long weekend. maybe it's because it's going to be december next week, the last month of this strange, strange year. even these projects i'm working on now, they feel like the vestiges of an old story, and that as soon as i'm done with them, there will be new and better things.

everything seems paused and yet also poised for something.

something's afoot.

and then you kissed me

i just discovered this song from The Cardigans:

man, i've had a few
but they wouldn't quite blow me like you
you gave me your name and signed
with a halo around my eye

and it hit me like never before
that love is a powerful force
yes, it struck me that love is a sport
so i pushed you a little bit more

love, you're news to me
you're a little bit more than i thought you'd be
a mole in my well-fed lawn
you're a nightmare beating the dawn

oh, it hit me like never before
that love is a powerful force
yes, it struck me that love is sport
so i pushed you a little bit more

Blue, blue, black and blue
red blood sticks like glue
true love is cruel love
red blood's a power-fuel
sweet love, tasty blood
my heart overfloods

oh you hit me!
yeah, you hit me really hard
man, you hit me!
yeah you hit me right in the heart

lord, i've had my deal
but i never quite knew how it feels
when love makes you wake up sore
with fists that are ready for more

and it hit me that love is a game
like in war no one can be blamed
yes, it struck me that love is a sport
so i pushed you a little bit more

oh, blue, blue, black and blue
red blood sticks like glue
true love is cruel love
red blood's a power fuel
sweet love tasted blood
my heart overfloods

man, you hit me!
yeah you hit me really hard
baby, you hit me!
yeah you punched me right in the heart
and then you kissed me...

and then you hit me...

oh, you haunt me with your violent heartbeat at night
oh, you strike me with your silence baby, tonight
why you haunt me with your violence baby, come hit me!
you haunt me with your violent heartbeat...

our own little narnia

the girls have christened the newly built mall near our office as Narnia. a place of wonder and joyful things. as christmas draws near more new shops are opening. every trip lengthens our wishlists.

today S1 and i spent a lunch hour in Narnia. we dared peek at the newly opened Onitsuka store where we were enamored of very pretty sneakers. my personal fave is a pink pair made of leatherette/suede-like material and velvet laces.

we checked out Agatha where i eyed a pair of earrings and a chunky black ring.

then on to Promod where i finally indulged in a bracelet.


i really should fix my shopping list already.

adult stuff

i'm signing documents for my home loan today. this will take care of paying for my condo unit. i had it calculated for 10 years, plan to pay the monthly dues for the first five years and then pay the balance in one lump sum after the first five years (for some reason, paying in advance or lump sum within the first five years incurs a penalty - weird).

i could have shopped around for other home loans but this one was conveniently handled by the real estate people and i didn't have to cough up too many documents and the bank people were actually very friendly and accommodating.

so i sign today, get the loan released sometime mid-2009 and then i start paying the monthly dues.

i might have found a potential gym near the office. i'm finding it hard to catch the gym back at home because i go home pretty late and the gym is only open until 9pm. i'm thinking it's best to have a gym near the office so i could go do my routine before heading home - and also having a productive way of waiting for the traffic to lighten up. i'll check it out within the week. i only need a decent treadmill and one or two other cardio machines.

okay, the bathroom's free. gotta go now.

accomplished

so i finished a good part of work today. then i practiced parking into my space a number of times until i could calmly do it. i still need to fix my gauging of distance but at least i feel less stressed and panicky after trying a few times. (my dad still thinks i should make a chalk mark along the wall so i would know when to stop.)

then i went to the bank and did my deposits. then on to home, which included a few zigzagging along the highway overtaking the big slow cargo trucks that were already out on the streets. ooh i love late-night driving!

sent T the stuff i promised to send her tonight and...

got my dose of jacob today and we said goodnight. ^_^ he made me laugh out loud twice during the day, which felt really good while in the middle of serious work. ^_^

my best friend T

i had dinner with my best friend tonight. and just a couple of days ago i was wondering out loud how she was. and today she messaged and we had an impromptu dinner date. (this morning i got into the elevator thinking i might run into S1 when the door opens at the ground floor and, there she was. creepy.)

we went to The Good Earth and had pork spareribs in mandarin orange sauce, hot and sour soup and black mushroom and beancurd casserole. over dinner we had updates on family, friends, pets and of course, love-lives (mostly mine, which is technically non-existent, so what in the world did we just talk about? hahaha!)

well she still thinks there's something with jacob. to which i want to agree but i promised myself no more striving.

and she thinks edward is kinda strange. to which i agree, period.

she will be spending a few days in HongKong with her family. ooh all that shopping! they'll be leaving on christmas day. isn't that so cool? i promised to message her if anything as cool happens to me during the holidays (like, perhaps,  accidental kisses beneath strategically placed mistletoes...?)

now i'm back at the office, wrapping up some work. then it's parking practice and then off to the bank to make sure my payment checks won't bounce. teehee.

eager

maybe with someone new. or maybe with someone i have always loved all this time. 

or maybe myself. or life itself.

the scent of promise hangs ripe in the air, like a fruit waiting to be plucked.

i have laid out fresh paper, all crisp and clean and clear.

my heart has grown spaces, waiting to be filled, and also overflowing.

my wishes are sleeping, waiting to be born.  

beautiful

S2 just forwarded to me this image. we are both currently avid fans of Vampire Knight. she likes Kaname (the pureblood) while i like Zero. the image is of Kaname and Yuuki (the girl caught up in the yummy love triangle between Kaname and Zero).

awww

i was ready to whip out my credit card and order some but it's sold out:

just imagine serving a home-cooked dinner on these. :)

by the way, there was jacob

i mean yesterday.

i didn't get to reply to his last message on saturday night because i was already asleep. so i sent a good morning and an acknowledgement of the message when i woke up.

which of course led into the usual exchange and banter. he messaged twice more in the evening. actually, his messages read like twitter updates - little snippets of what's going on at the moment. i do the same to him sometimes. yes, we're that... friendly. i guess we just sort of think of each other when we do things or even when we see things that we know the other could easily relate to and appreciate and we like to tell each other about it. we sometimes even update on or check on each other's meals, like what we had for lunch or if we're craving for anything in particular.

i don't even get to update my best friend that much.

a lovely lunch

i got in the office early today - at 8:20AM! i'm normally late but since i started driving i realized that it is rather tiring to drive through a late morning traffic, not to mention that i end up being really late because of my average speed of 30kph. 

hence i've made it a point to leave earlier than usual - from 8am to 7am, which my sis finds a bit of an inconvenience but it can't be helped. in fact, she is part of the reason i had to schedule things a lot earlier. the right turn going to her office is a major (and terrifying) challenge for me and i prefer the light traffic conditions of an early morning than the evil cram of a late morning. 

being early,  i got settled in nicely with lots of time to spare so i didn't need to rush through anything. i discussed a project update, finalized a direction to take and even had enough time to indulge a colleague who needed to rant.

by 11:30am i have done enough work that when my friend Grumpy popped in to check if i was free for lunch i did not feel guilty about taking an early break. he wanted happy food so we went to Ristorante y Damaso. he had fish and a pasta. i had the adobo and a chocolate banana pie.

then i accompanied him because he needed to buy earphones and then it's back to the office. the painkiller i took this morning finally took effect halfway through lunch. it has rendered the headache into a faint throb that i could ignore and pretend to be nonexistent.

i think i will be working late tonight. i want to finish this new business project so i don't have to fuss about it for the rest of the week. i'll also practice parking in my space tonight when there aren't too many vehicles running about. and i will need to pass by the bank and move some money for my home payment.

there, my monday looks sane and organized enough. now i have to figure out my gym workout schedule...

ohayo!

it's a rainy sunday morning. the same kind of gray as yesterday.

i made myself get up earlier than usual so i could take my meds on time. the headache is still present but at less intensity. i hope it will not get worse as the day progresses. i like to think that the meds are helping clear out whatever blockage there is that's making my head all scrunched up inside.

i was asleep around midnight last night and then was momentarily wakened by a message beeping into my mobile at around 1am. it was from jacob. he was responding to a message i sent earlier (we had been exchanging banter throughout the evening at random intervals) and he was also saying goodnight. sweet.

i'm debating with myself whether to do some work today or just do a set of overtimes starting tomorrow. i really don't like cramming at work but i also don't like messing with my sundays. *sigh*

ooh- wait! i have to write about my dream last night!

it's been a long while since i had a vivid and coherent dream. in fact i can't even remember exactly the last one i had. maybe i should check with my older blogs.

i dreamed that i won some contest and the prize was that i get to be "transported" into the world of Twilight (yes, the edward-bella story). and get this, i get transported as Bella, so it's like i was both a sightseer into the story but also a participant. so there was this strange moment when i was taking photos with my camera of a house, and then a garden lunch of Edward's family and then also having lunch with them. (strangely, the house looked like the house from Practical Magic where the two aunts lived.)

and then Edward showed up, naturally looking like Robert Pattinson, all pale and beautiful, and at first he seemed to be ignoring me. he didn't talk to anybody and he was looking suspiciously at everyone and everywhere. then he just walked over to me, took my hand and pulled me away from everyone else. he started walking towards a big house and i looked back at the garden lunch and somehow i had two friends there waving at me and mimicking fainting and screaming motions at seeing me with Edward. i laughed and Edward asked me why and i invented some other reason because i couldn't possibly say it was because being with him was making my friends and me swoon.

as we walked along his hold on me became more possessive, from just holding my hand, to having an arm around my shoulders until he was practically embracing me. hazily i wondered if Jacob was going to show up anytime soon since i thought Edward was acting a bit strange. then i tried to remember what part of the story i was supposed to be on and then things started getting fuzzy and... i woke up.

so there. pretty nice actually.

love this iPod

it has only been with me for less than a week and it has already become indispensable. i have christened it Zero, after Zero Kiryuu from Vampire Knight.

in the photo, Zero is posed on top of Julie Hearn's book titled Ivy.

i so love Zero ^_^ (the iPod and the vampire and the Coke and the Macross).

at home on a saturday night

i'm starting to feel a tiny twinge of missing my saturday routine. i have been absent from sword practice for three saturdays now, and absent from the saturday night out with the boys for two.

tonight i wondered if they would remember and care. and lo and behold, they did. i got three different messages (from three different people) asking if i would like to join them for the usual dinner and movie. but i didn't practice and i feel kind of iffy about not practicing and then going out after. even if i did have a valid excuse.

anyway, my head is still achy and i believe it would be best to rest. i've also started on my medication and i'd like to get a feel of the effects (runny nose and all) and manage it before daring to socialize. the doctor warned me i would be getting the colds and cough i "cured" last week back and that i should just bear through it to cleanse my system.

so i'm staying in. i'll probably watch Lost on DVDs (i'm somewhere halfway through season two) and then maybe try to do some work to make up for lost sick time.

in later entries i'll write about the boys. for some reason, a new blog makes me want to introduce the characters in my life-love-story as if for the first time. that should be fun and cathartic.

a sigh of relief

i just came from the doctor (an ear-nose-throat doctor who is also a head-and-neck surgeon).

it looks like i'm suffering from sinusitis, and it has reached a stage when it's already echoing pain all over the left side of my head. basically i just need to take meds (antibiotics and a mucolytic) and a nasal spray that will flush it all out. so i guess i will probably look sicker than i really am in the next few days --- runny nose, coughing, teary eyes and a face like a punching bag from all that liquid. i'm required to drink a minimum of 10 glasses of water a day because i'm under treatment (normal is 8-10). 

but it is a relief because i realized, and only after the diagnosis has been given, that i have been worried about worse things. such as an official migraine diagnosis that will tie me to pain medication for the rest of my life. or a head or brain problem that could mean the end of my sword practice.

i'll have to postpone the introduction of wine and champagne to my beverage repertoire until i am done with all the medications. other than that, the doctor did not put me on any diet or forbid me from taking in certain foods. just the 10-glass-minimum water intake.

to celebrate the non-deadliness of my diagnosis, i dropped by Starbucks and got a Toffee Nut Latte, two multi-grain bagels (one i ate as soon as i got home and the other i'm reserving for snack when i work late tonight), a slice of white chocolate sans rival, and a slice of christmas chocolate bliss. no i'm not going to eat them at the same time. they should last me until tomorrow.

meanwhile i'll go now and fix my stuff and prepare for a bit of overtime work. since i'm not going to die anytime soon (not from this sinus problem anyway), i cannot afford to slack off too much from work. oh well.

rainy saturday

the sky is a dull dirty white tinged with gray. there is a soft rain falling. i can smell the earth, exhaling from days of intense heat.

my head is throbbing. i am due to visit a doctor this afternoon. i have been sick a lot lately. and i have a very strong suspicion the roots of my dis-ease are in my heart.

i am putting my lives in order. i will soon be moving out and living on my own. i should have done this years ago but i have always been a late bloomer.

my whole life is shifting and i am just a little bit dazed.