priceless

long day eve

my feet hurt. i just had a foot spa and a pedicure but my feet hurt. i had to walk around a lot in the city in the wrong pair of shoes (i really need to invest in a couple more comfy pairs).

on the bright side i got my checks today, although the one from my employee fund not as much as i had hoped. i knew it was a good idea to start getting that fund now. if it takes this long to get anything processed i might get it in 2011 if i waited until i resigned. as it is i am quite disappointed that i could not get it in one go.

tomorrow's deadly schedule as follows:
430AM : wake up, breakfast, bath
6AM : hair and makeup
7AM : jacob picks me up, pack up everything in car
8AM : be at hotel (not really quite sure why we had to go all together from hotel to church. i really could have used those extra hours sleeping.)
10AM : wedding
12:30-ish : reception
(but knowing how these things go, i am certain everything will be running later than planned. oh well.)
3PM : ideally must be leaving for the dojo
330PM : bath, change into practice clothes
5PM : practice
730PM : christmas party

i hope i have enough strength and energy left at the end of the day for practice.

moments like these i'm cheered by the thought of jacob's presence.

it is done

so things have been falling into place oh-so-perfectly. and last tuesday i finally did the talk with my boss and... in less than four months my life will be shifting.

meanwhile, i badly need to resume my writing because i'm getting more scattered by the day. I keep forgetting things and details and i get so easily excited by the thoughts of a new life and i am like a kid who can't sleep and can't eat waiting for the carnival day to arrive.

tonight i finished two batches of cheesecakes. one batch for orders. one batch for sampling plus a big tray for a christmas gift for jacob's family. (his mom said i could sell the cakes for more. hmm...)

tonight jacob and i worked together in the kitchen, with me assisting him in grilling his special recipe shrimp. dinner was leisurely and extended. the place smelled of buttery lemony garlicky grilled shrimp. super super yum!

tomorrow i am on leave but i need to go to the office for one last meeting. and then i need to pick up my sideline check and do a bit of banking.

i'm way behind a lot of to-dos but i'm hoping to catch up properly after the whole ado over shunsui and nanao-chan's wedding.

i got me a Kindle, by the way. i love it to bits.

things falling into place

that's how it feels.

just like the fact that my best friend got a job and will be starting next week! and a pretty nice job it seems. she's been making me green with envy with her months-long work hiatus but i know she also wanted to get busy again. i'm so happy for her! (and maybe she will send me some cookies...)

every day i get little subtle but distinct signs that going is the way to go. jacob is helping me out with the legal parts.

i have also decided that maybe i should seriously consider having my own business for starters - a sole proprietorship which i can just then not renew when the other thing happens. i just really want to be safe legally with every step. I NEED THAT ACCOUNTANT, DEAR UNIVERSE!

the sideline project is going pretty well too. i have very good feelings about it. ^__^

dream days

wake up within 7-8AM
take a run and/or do yoga
breakfast
clean up
work
prepare lunch
eat lunch
clean up
work
or maybe a quick nap and then work
sign off from work at around 6PM
prepare dinner
eat dinner
relax:
- read books
- watch dvds
- play games
- be with jacob
- write
- make art journals
- sleep whenever i feel like it

have the option to wake up later than usual
have option to take the day off
do an overtime and not have to go to the office next day
have the option to stop work in the middle of the day when my brain won't budge
do my groceries on time
bake while working

no more 10-hour workshops where i only get to have valid and relevant speaking lines for fifteen minutes
no more workshops i don't feel efficiently useful in, period.
no more strategic planning meetings.
clear-cut projects with beginnings and ends.
compensation commensurate to skill and effort given. hence, double work means double pay.
perfect pacing
enough sleep
time to workout
time to practice

the calm before the storm, undercurrents before an earthquake

so lately i have been deeply agitated.

and now suddenly i am calm and hopeful and a little bit scared.

the year of resolutions and then the year of harvest.

but first one must plant the seeds.

a year of resolution indeed

this year has been a year of resolution.

next year is a year of harvest.

i don't know how i know. but so far i have been pretty right about the distinct energies i'm picking up. seemingly random signals when i happen to stumble into the frequency of the universe.

last year was a year of shifts and breaking away from the old, of broken status quo for some. of questions thrown down at one's face demanding an unwavering answer.

it's a life's journey chaptered in years. and the trick is make the most of the time given, and to be strong.

this year is almost over and there is but one last question. yesterday i believe i have come much much closer to the answer. it brought me such a vast feeling of relief that i knew i was on the right track. and add to that the tingling and humming of energy inside me as my mind and my heart locked on to the answer i have been beating around the bush with.

there will be changes. big ones. important ones. but i know what i want now. oh, now i know for sure what i want, who i want, all the ingredients of my happy life.

it's almost funny how i am such a late bloomer and yet my impatience is such a pain.

now i want a serious coffeemaker

it's a holiday so toushiro suggested an activity. mainly watching part 2 of Red Cliff at his house and then ururu wanted a trip to Vanilla Bean Cafe as well. sadly, jacob could not join us because he had a family trip to go to. (missed him so badly. i had fun but it's always never the same without him.)

so we all met up at around 530PM only to discover that the cafe was closed. we ended up buying take out from Coffee Bean (just cakes and sandwiches). toushiro wanted to show off his coffee-making machine and skills so we didn't buy any coffee.

the coffee turned out to be pretty good. i had two servings. and after watching how it was done (complete with steaming and frothing the milk) i wanted my very own coffeemaker. *sigh*

then we watched the movie, after which the other girls had craving for chinese food so we eventually found ourselves in North Park eating dimsum and noodles and finishing off pots of hot tea.

it was a fun evening. and i missed jacob.

digital de-cluttering

cleaning up photos via aperture
configuring mobileme syncs
organizing bookmarks
backing up online journals
canceling subscriptions i don't ever read
making space for fish work
reviewing and de-cluttering software
updating software

a week's worth of work per day

so i went back to work last tuesday. and it was like stepping into a quicksand by the beach. you though the water would be shallow, enough to cover your feet and let you splash around and have some fun. instead your feet sink deep, deep, deep and before you know it, you are flailing around awkwardly and with mounting panic.

to date, there are already fourteen projects on the list for 2010. i am now rushing through some proposals and my head is aching. in fact, i think i have some sinat :(

i am not yet badly stressed and i am doing my best to keep it that way. but the physical and mental exhaustion are, well, exhausting.

today i also received word that my little fish sideline is pushing through. and now i have to squeeze that in on top of the official work.

i'm going to get half of my office savings on the third week of november. the other half on december. i'm going to put them in my personal savings account, and then a chunk in my investment account. and some for shopping. maybe i will finally get that Macbook Air. or an iPhone. we'll see.

there's supposed to be a storm tonight but it does not feel stormy to me. just cold, cold, cold.

jacob was supposed to drop by but got trapped into a nap that turned into a full sleep. in any case, i believe i should get some sleep too. the sudden volume of work this week caught me by surprise and i'm still reeling. maybe that's why i have sinat and a really bad headache.

*sigh*

sick friday

let's see. it started with a tummy ache, then a constant feeling of nausea. bad headache. by early afternoon i had a slight fever. i had no appetite for food, for FB gaming, for doing anything. i just felt like tucking into bed, which i did. popped in a couple of DVDs : Away We Go and Sunshine Cleaning, both from Big Beach films and both quite good. Away We Go made me teary-eyed.

i got a call from work which i ignored but which got my tummy all painful and stressed out even worse. it took a while before i could regain a semblance of calm.

my iMac is ready for pick-up but i have to schedule it on monday instead, since i am unable to function well today.

i haven't eaten anything except a few sips of coffee, 3.5 pieces of plain crackers and a small bowl of noodle soup.

i have an all-stressed-out mode going on and it's a bothering discomfort.

tummy ache :(

i suspect the delivery food.

since early evening last night i've been feeling bloated and heavy on the tummy with a slight nausea.

it has persisted all through the night and until now, mingling with the feeling of hunger except that eating is the farthest thing from my mind because i feel nauseous. i think i may have to take some antacids or something :(

on a bright note, i finished yesterday the bulk of all the cleaning and fixing. i finished watching bleach until episode 235 so i'm pretty much updated.

jacob dropped by and we had a lazy nap afternoon. we ordered delivery and then i started feeling that uncomfortable tummy ache. i did my best to ignore it but now it is really uncomfortable and i'm feeling both hungry and full and bloated :(

i wish i had woken up early today. but i was restless all night because of the tummy ache and only got some semblance of sleep in the early morning. now i want to eat but maybe i should just have some plain soup. :( *sigh*

accomplished again

so i finally fixed my home theater corner.

got to cooking some steamed and fried pork-shrimp siomai. totemo oishii!

jacob requested for an egg salad sandwich for a late-night snack. now i want to make a bigger batch. will probably step out later to buy more mayo.

finally have a place to display my bleach figurine collection. ^__^

cleared a third of the clutter i have accumulated in a bag that has been sitting around for more than a month. will do the two-thirds today.

loaded my new photo printer with ink. will start printing pics later.

started on enhancing my vision wall, have unpacked all stickers.

finished Neil's Odd and the Frost Giants. will start on Ivy later by Julie Hearn.

started on my new volume of Bleach. loved episode 228!!!

was so happy that jacob dropped by yesterday.

paid my mobile phone bills and did necessary fund transfers for the rent at my parents' house.

internet was gone from midnight to 10am today. so most of my pumpkins withered. oh well.

now have three full bags of cleared clutter. i hope to add to those.

at home day

i got up at around 10am after a night's sleep of intermittent wakings due to really weird dream snippets.

i updated all the software of my iBook and the updates helped speed it up a bit. it's still slower than my iMac but it's no longer annoyingly slow.

i cleaned and fixed my home theater area. cleaned the kitchen. cleared more clutter.

i'm still clearing more clutter. i would like to reduce everything into what is truly meaningful and essential.

long errand days

let's see.

thursday last week was the first day of my recovery week. i had lunch with my parents, then finally made that trip to the warehouse store of Regalong Pambahay from which i got : stickers, a lamp, a decorative storage box and a nice handbag. i cleaned and fixed my place until midnight and was achy when i went to bed.

friday was battling it out in the mall. i got : a new dishrack, more storage solutions, new pots (a wok and a very small sauce pot) and a small frying pan, a transformer for my convection oven. more cleaning and clutter-clearing and re-arranging until midnight. really achy when i went to bed.

saturday was more cleaning and fixing in the morning. an exhausted nap in the early afternoon, and then off to practice at 4pm. night out with with the group, but jacob and i left early because jacob wasn't feeling well. we had cakes and coffee by ourselves before going home. jacob took meds and slept soundly.

sunday was supposed to be a continuation of the cleaning and clearing but i suddenly felt so achy and tired and lazy. jacob and i were supposed to run for some workout but ended up napping and watching Bleach. then we stepped out to buy DVDs and had dinner out. then more lazing about.

monday was serious errand day. i deposited money for my home loan, then opened a new savings account in a nearby convenient bank. supermarket shopping. then lunch at my parents' house. then my parents borrowed my car so i tagged along and had an impromptu shopping trip. i got : an apron, more storage solutions, a new rice cooker, lots of home improvement stuff from the hardware store including cleaning tools, a good bunch of second-hand magazines for my vision wall, the latest volume of Bleach.

tuesday was meeting up with my insurance agent. then an appointment with the dentist. i got new eyeglasses. took my iMac for repairs - it will need a new optical drive so i'm using my old iBook. i got a full body massage (FINALLY!!!). then brought my sis to Regalong Pambahay where she shopped happily while i got : matching magazine rack to my lamp, decorative storage boxes, decorative glass candle holders, more stickers, and ref magnets. i also got around to making a batch of blueberry cheesecake.

to my delight jacob dropped by around 10pm and so he was able to take home a tray of cheesecake. we watched Saint Seiya, The Doctors and Iron Chef America. had coffee and cheesecake.

tomorrow, or rather, today (it's 3AM!) i plan to just stay home and complete all the fixing. my to-do list include:
- finding a good recipe to try on my new and now operational convection oven
- reading the manual of and setting up my Canon Selphy photo printer
- working on my vision walls
- trying out new recipes
- organizing all the receipts and warranties and other important documentation
- pay my mobile phone bills online
- review and update my to-do list
- finish Neil Gaiman's book (Odd and the Frost Giant) - i'm about three quarters through, and start a new book
- clear more clutter
- clean and fix that water-damaged corner by the home theater set
- complete all decorations
- play Final Fantasy VII
- watch the latest episode of Supernatural
- organize photos

hmm that's about what i can think of at this point.

i shall resume farming now. maybe about another half hour and then i shall be off to bed. oyasumi.

accomplished

- bought and installed a water filtering system so i won't ever run out of drinking water
- bought and set up my baking oven rack
- reconfigured my closet to prevent constant clogging
- de-cluttered enough to fill a very big plastic bag
- bought starting seeds and pots for my kitchen herb garden
- cleaned up my iMac's hard drive to get it ready for repairs
- added stuff on my vision boards
- bought new baking stuff so i could try cupcakes with icing
- reconfigured my kitchen cabinets to maximize storage
- changed my aircon filter
- cleaned my range hood filters

waiting for the storms to pass

i've been barraged by storms, literally and figuratively, for the past couple of months.

i am looking forward to taking a long break. a calm forced into the midst of the mayhem.

right now i am seeking solace in the kitchen. simmering chicken-pork adobo with olives. waiting in line is an invented thai chicken soup. i have finished marinating pork chops in olive oil, salt and pepper.

i wish jacob were here. but we all have to watch our homes in case this new storm proves as tricky as the last one.

i can feel my selves scattered all over and i need to gather them. i need to start reading a book, start writing something, start a project.

i need to regain the lost momentum of my life when work got truly destructive the past two weeks or so.

resuscitated

finally got to see jacob today ^__^

my presentation is done. i got an applause, much to my surprise.

i have been on recovery leave since wednesday and sometimes it feels like i can't stop not going to work. i like being away from the office for a while. i like letting my brain breathe and not think too much.

so on the first day of my leave i just basically slept. i know i could never get back all those hours in all those weeks but it's nice to pretend. i also finally got around to going to the supermarket and now my kitchen is stocked again.

on the second day of my leave i started cleaning and clutter-clearing. and then i finally got to see jacob.

and now i think i can truly sleep peacefully. seeing jacob is like the final pump to the heart that gets a drowned person breathing again.

oyasumi, watashi no saiai.

numb

i have a presentation on monday afternoon and i have not touched the slides yet. i have not started on a single finding.

i fell asleep last night, driven by sheer exhaustion, intending only to take a quick nap. instead i got drawn into a deep dream where i was walking with a centaur.

i'm up now and strangely i could not feel the panic i should be feeling. now i definitely cannot sleep until i have finished the report.

jacob has been bringing me food to sustain me through the long nights.

i'm so tired i just want to lie in bed and not move for a while.

crammy weekend

all plans have gone awry. i sorely need a rest.

went home a bit early last friday planning to work in peace. i ended up napping in exhaustion and my brain won't budge. then jacob dropped by and there was no question about it, jacob always wins over work so i totally abandoned all ideas of slaving away for the rest of friday night.

saturday was practice day and i was feeling very low on energy. but i practiced anyway and but my play was not as what i would have liked. half of me was just longing to stretch and sleep and the other half trying to make the most of practice. my mind was practically dragging my body through the motions.

then the plan was to have a quick dinner and then go home so i can go to the supermarket and then do some work. but the group was reluctant to break up after dinner and so we ended up going home at past midnight. it was so late that jacob and i got hungry again and we ended up buying mcdonald's and had midnight snack while watching a movie at home. so we ended up really late.

and now i was supposed to have started working early so i can have the rest of the day resting. instead i just got up. will need to clean my place because i didn't get to do it yesterday. take my folks out to lunch because i've been craving for a certain taste in my tongue and i haven't been satisfied with any of the meals i've been having these past couple of weeks or so (since i stopped cooking for a while because i've been tired from all the work) and it was my dad's birthday last week and my mom's birthday last month and i have never really gotten around to spending time with them for that. so i'm taking everyone to a buffet lunch at brazil!brazil! so i can have the roast beef. then i will finally get to meet up with avalon my dear friend and bookseller. after that probably a quick scan for new movies and then i really need to go to the supermarket and then i can try to do some work.

god, i'm still sleepy and i want a massage.

instincts say

work from home today.

so i am.

hopefully this means i could check off a chunk from my to-do list.

watery wednesday

the rains never let up. it was wet and gray all day.

i had to step out at lunchtime to buy contact lenses. i had to dispose the one in my right eye because it was irritating like hell... luckily i found acuvue and got two boxes and got my vision back.

i got sidetracked by the bookstore sale though. and ended up buying three books. it's dangerous for me to be near a store when i am so stressed at work.

had curry karaage for lunch and i tried chawan mushi.

i had two new projects come in today. and then three friends needed some emotional support (those were three separate occasions so i squeezed each one into my schedule while cramming on my deadlines). so i was superwoman and superfriend.

and now i suddenly miss jacob badly.

i escaped from the laptop today

i left all my workstuff at the office, including my laptop. so now i can only do non-work stuff. which is good. i left the office at 9pm. now i'm having coffee after a hot bath.

tomorrow will be another busy day. i have a "chat" with my boss and i'm a bit worried on what it could be about. i have to fix my work calendars and i badly need to get started on that project analysis.

got to talk to V on the phone tonight. i needed to check on a work item we did not expect to resurface while she's out on vacation. she sounded so happy.

i want to shop. and i want to hug jacob. and i want to watch movies while tucked in bed.

a very long day

it's almost five but i won't be stopping work until about four hours from now.

i just came from two client meetings that got me so hungry because they used up all my stored energy for brain work. in the span of two hours i got two projects that demand implementation before the year ends.

and jacob the sneaky sneaky creature that he is just messaged me that he has discovered this blog! *shock*

and so i've been reading back my older posts to see if i wrote anything he could use to torment me.

i'm now craving for some freshly brewed coffee. maybe i should bring my coffee press to the office and some beans. it looks like i will be doing a lot of overtime for the next few weeks or so.

unexpectedly free monday

i filed for a recovery leave today. and then late last week it was announced that today has been made a holiday. so i have to cancel that leave and savor this free day. and at the same time it has made it easier for me to just totally abandon work instead of feeling slightly guilty for taking a leave.

i had a sweet time at V's wedding. jacob was simply wonderful.

yesterday was lazy day. we slept in until noon. i cleaned up a bit then we brought mogget to the vet. we had him take a bath and full grooming while we ate a very late lunch at 4pm. a quick peek at the latest dvds on sale. i got the 6th ova movie of Hellsing. then home and back to lazing around on the net. then stepped out for a quick trip to the convenience store for some water, bread and ice cream. we watched the first half of Seven Swords. then i cooked up some pasta and egg salad sandwich. a very late dinner at almost 11pm. then finished the second half of the movie. jacob went home at around 2am. we practically spent two whole days together and i'm still feeling those little bursts of delight and joy about being with him. it seems i never get tired of having him around even if he does disastrously distract me from other stuff i want to do like quietly reading in a corner (because i will always just have to pause every half hour or so and give him a hug).

today i will clean up and plan menus and probably go to the supermarket later. i wish i have the whole week off. it's so frustrating to start on home projects now and then shelve it until the next free day. *sigh*

got to go now. it's noon!

two weddings, two wins, three fish

last week i received V's wedding invitation. a couple of weeks before that i also got informed that i would be playing a role in the wedding. L and i are going to be the gate-openers to the church. V has been cramming since her wedding will be on saturday. i got the confirmation that she has seriously really included jacob in the invite last friday. so with little hope and expectation i told jacob about it and was surprised off my socks when he said he'd go. it will be on a saturday so he will be missing practice as well as i.

last night we had dinner with shunsui and nanao-chan, and they gave out their wedding invites. but unlike V, nanao-chan has been well-prepared and has been calmly executing her wedding plans. the wedding date won't be until december. jacob and i will be sponsors.

two wedding invites, and with roles! first time ever, in my whole life. seriously. either my friends are just really getting married late or i finally allowed myself to get close enough to be invited to have a role in the ceremony. most of the time i don't even make it to the guest list unless it's an obligatory invite (like i'm family or because i'm one of the bosses). anyway, it looks like i've become more than a shadow and a spectator. i believe it's all good.

meanwhile, i've won in the last two matches in my saturday practice. all the time i have dreaded and imagined how it would go. and every time i surprise myself when i hear the point called out. i have actually been told by our class's sensei that i would be recommended to take the first level exam in hongkong next year. that was a bit of a shock because i have always assumed i'd need two more years. well, it's a recommendation not yet an actual order or something. maybe there's still a chance to wiggle out of it and get to practice a bit more.

plans for the new business are going well. we're signing registration stuff in late september or early october, avoiding the mercury retrograde to be on the safe side. i have come up with more name options all including "fish". V, L and i are excited and we are all at the end of our ropes with our current work setup. we are eager to begin our new lives, literally eager to Have Lives. as such i have calmed myself sufficiently to just do what needs to be done especially in the training and re-training part. certainly i no longer wish nor intend to invest too much time and effort in training the juniors. it's either they find their groove in the next four months or not. beyond that i am washing my hands off them.

things to do

pack up for tomorrow's fieldwork
preview six hours of video documentation in preparation for fieldwork
find and buy a dress for V's wedding on saturday
buy a wedding gift
buy a shower gift (very belated)
transfer money to my checking account
send out the checks for bills payment
check with my bank on the home loan payment procedures
bring mogget to the vet
go to the supermarket. stocks are nearly empty

there's practice today with a few friends but my body is still sore and achy form last saturday's practice. and i really have to get started on those videos *procrastinating*

on the bright side, i can have all thursday free for last-minute shopping. i hope i'm not too tired from the fieldwork. maybe i should stock up on berocca too.

i shall write again soon

meanwhile, let me fix the odds and ends scattered about. must be the time of the year. this time last year i was on my way to a major sanity sabbatical break. i feel like i will need another one soon enough.

i like this!

according to the Guide to Wealth from HSBC:

At age 36, the Early Investor starts saving
P100,000 every year at 7% per annum. If he
stops saving the said amount at age 45, by the
time he is 65, he would have P5,720,786 even
if he only saved for 10 years.

and i can definitely save more than P100,000 every year!

free monday

the only thing marring my free monday is the stressful dream i had last night which basically centered on my problematic juniors.

on the other hand, i would now want to just highlight the happy things, such as: my perfect timing for taking a leave which spares me the traffic due to the SONA and the rallies related to it, jacob softly snoring on the other side of the room (yes, he slept over), jacob and i going AV rack hunting today, my food poisoning full recovery, L and V who are such happy fish partners, the thought of a fourth fish meeting and opening our account on thursday, the happy dinner last night with friends, three very restful days, the gems i've picked up from the research seminar, the series of inspired action that has been pushing me about lately, negative results from the pregnancy test kits...

i have to send nanao-chan some poetry samples. she asked if she could quote our personal works for the pre-nup photos. so nice! ^__^

farming and plotting

i have gotten quite hooked on facebook's farmville, where i have attained level 4 status overnight.

i got up at around 730AM moved by inspired ideas for the fish business. so i'm putting together some slides for our next business meeting while growing strawberries in my farm.

the curtains are drawn in my room so i have this nice cozy sunday setup. i may have to step out sometime before lunch to get my laundry and drop by the supermarket.

recovering and relaxing

i had a slight fever going on and off for a while after my vomiting bout. jacob has been very attentive and caring - he kept feeding me soup, taking my temperature and making sure i took my meds. last night he even cleaned up the kitchen!

i slept for most of the day today. woke up at around 12 noon, then cooked some simple lunch (adobo with olives) and then slipped back into sleep about two hours later. got up at 7pm and was seriously considering just staying home. i started to watch Persona Trinity Soul but my sister made me go out with the group. luckily we only went to shang, which was near and we only had dinner and coffee (i had apple berry freeze because i have to stay away from caffeine while still recuperating). so now i'm home early for a saturday night.

there's supposed to be practice with the group tomorrow afternoon but i think i'll skip that as well and just meet up with them afterwards. i think i could use more sleep and relaxation and puttering about in my place. my place is quite a mess since i have not been really able to clean up a lot from being weakened by the food poisoning.

so after this entry i'll clear some stuff and then resume my anime watching. yay! and it's such a happy thought that i'm on leave on monday. a long weekend!

food poisoning and fish mania

i had food poisoning yesterday. i attended a seminar, the food was absolutely delicious. i ate a bit more than intended, including some mussel salad. three hours later i was feeling queasy. when i got home i vomited for six times within three hours until i was only churning out bile and saliva and the aftertaste of undigested mussels.

i was extremely weakened by the experience and could not even make myself soup.

jacob dropped by and i have messaged him beforehand to buy me more bottled water since i was not able to step out to the supermarket. he made me soup, took my temperature (and we discovered i had a slight fever), gave me meds, made me rest (hugged me warmly while i was tucked in bed). super sweet jacob!

today i went to the second day of the seminar but only ate safe foods, which meant i was hungry all the time. but if i tried to eat more or tried introducing complex foods i start feeling crampy in my tummy and i certainly do not want another tortuous vomiting episode.

on the other hand my geeky brain was bursting and crackling from the seminar stuff and i got loads of ideas for the fish business. it was worth it making myself go despite still feeling un-well from my food poisoning bout. finally i have tuned in to the perfect frequency through which i could hear the magical ding-ding-ding of a win, the satisfying thump of things falling into place, and the tingling sensation of "this is it!"

i believe L's call over lunch was a timely one, meant to serve as a punctuation to all the surge of messages from the universe (she got a wee bit irked at the implied laziness of some people).

i think i'm going to be resting this weekend. i feel an inspired action creeping in along the way.

amazon books, pomegranate face mask, etc.

today was coding day so my dad drove me to work. hence i had the luxury of waking up later than usual since i won't be driving. no need to catch the early morning light traffic.

serious work until lunchtime. lunch was with the fish-girls --- we had our third secret business meeting.

i progressed significantly in one of the projects i'm working on and i feel mighty proud.

there was a client party in the evening and i managed to sneak out early.

an amazon delivery was waiting for me at the reception area. two books on research and ethnography. work-stuff but the kind that's fun.

i took a bath first thing and now i have a pomegranate rejuvenating mask clinging to my face as i wait for twenty minutes.

alright, let's see...

i was awake for 22 hours yesterday, having only slept (or more like, napped) an hour between 430AM and 530AM. and then i couldn't sleep last night even when i tried to and had to resort to remedies like warm milk.

sunday at 2AM i was wide awake and starting to worry about the workload. so i worked through the night in-between brainstorming with jacob on a little project he wants to explore. i napped at around 430AM when i have sufficiently gotten a lot of to-do things on my list into the next stages. i was in the office by 730AM, as usual and was madly working until about lunchtime during which i paused to prepare my whole wheat pasta and spicy arrabiata. i've decided to bring lunch to work to start saving money for the fish business with V and L. i worked while eating lunch and got at least two days' worth of work done. i headed for home a few minutes before 5PM, feeling justified in doing so.

i got permission from my boss to take the next few mondays off as a compromise on my desire for a long midyear break. i can't afford a long midyear break due to projects comings in but i can break it down at least into long weekends.

as for projects, i have four happening simultaneously in the next couple of months. two of them will be directly under my supervision, and one of the two will be personally implemented by me while my trainee learns from the process.

last night i had dinner of leftovers and then i cooked a whole batch of pork steaks for saucing later. that way i don't have to wait too long for dinner.

jacob kept me sane. *loves jacob to bits*

ooohh

go jacob! ^_____^

needing a vacation

not the usual kind i used to take - multi-day stays by the beach, although i could use some of that too. more of multi-day of no work and just puttering about in my place, slowly flowing from one unhurried activity to the next like maple syrup. sleeping for long hours and eating at odd hours. experimenting with recipes and enjoying some time-tested ones. watching movies and reading the last few unread books in my library. buying new books and selling old ones i would never read again. cleaning up my hard drives and making sense of my data disks. planning very carefully for the fish business with L and V. working out more often. re-acquainting myself with the malls.

spending lots of time with jacob.

i will muster up the courage to request for leaves next week. it's just a teensy bit awkward these days because, well, it's my old-new boss, and work has been really unbelievably loaded lately. but i need this and i want this.

the situation at work regarding the young ones in the team has not yet been fully resolved. but it has been teaching me a lot of things about myself and my work and how i want to live my day-to-day life. in a certain way it has been significantly instrumental in motivating me to pursue a different way of working, and has driven me to enough frustration to gather up that courage to spin away...

i'm making a new blog, by the way. i believe my cooking self feels confident enough to do its own spinning off. please check out the bubbling little cauldron soon.

totemo isogashii

with work, with jacob, and with planning that new venture with V and L.

i finally received my etsy decal and will be putting it up today. i'll post pics later. i haven't posted pics lately, was too lazy to upload.

had really good practice last night even though i was half-stressed for having to be acting-captain of the women's and beginner's class. ururu was absent and apparently i was next in line. i kinda miss those days when i don't have to worry about being in the frontline.

on the other hand, i kinda enjoyed sparring with the beginners. it made me realize that all those months of practice are bearing fruit. i am developing speed, and my form is not bad at all.

jacob has been having allergy attacks the past few days. he's been sniffly and all. he went home instead of sleeping over last night so he could rest all day. he finds my place noisy during the day, which it is, actually, because of the tricycles and the neighbors' tacky radio playing. that's why i often opt to pay for the electricity bill having the aircon on all day to keep most of the noise out with the windows all shut.

my sis said she dreamt i was pregnant and that jacob and i were trying to deal with the surprise of it. i said the dream could also mean pregnancy in some other form, like the business project with V and L bearing fruit.

i should be starting clean up and eating lunch now but i'm dilly-dallying...

a ten-hour workshop on a saturday

which also means i will be missing the first day of the new july batch and practice in the dojo today.

and it meant jacob had to go home last night because i would have to get up early today and sleeping over was not an option.

little details like these further convince me that spinning off is a very good idea. and i have a very good feeling that the universe is conspiring.

year of resolutions

and next year will be the year of growth and blossoming coming from stories than have ended and started this year.

and the year after next will be the year of harvest.

happy happy happy

well, jacob, of course, is a large part of my happy, happy, happy. he is just the sweetest and funniest and makes me laugh a lot and love a lot.

and then there's the newly-repaired PS3... and the discovery that PS3 games have dropped their prices by 30-40%...

and then there's the little seed of an idea that could grow into a giant money-bearing tree... and a much much much happier work-life.

and there's this little hilarious moment yesterday while jacob and i were at the mall. we heard a loud "psst" and saw jushiro laughing so hard because he "caught" us. jacob had his arms around me while we were walking and jushiro happened to be in the same area. he was laughing and joking around and accusing jacob of keeping secrets and he was simply ecstatic at having stumbled into us. i guess it was such a relief to finally have it all out. --- and to think this happens the very same day i finally made myself put up that photo of me and jacob on my vision/collage wall in the "love" area. for some reason i've put it off. and then i finally put it up and now everything is just becoming even more real and solid.

i think i'm going to put up as section on my wall for that little seed of money-bearing tree... and then a cooking/baking section, and then also *amas veritas wedding march tune here* ^_____^

yay! friday!

i would like to say it means i get to sleep but with dvd movies and jacob around... in any case it's waking time spent really well ^__^

i believe i progressed a lot of things at work today so i feel pretty accomplished ^______^'

i need to gas up and then also go to the supermarket. maybe later tonight. maybe i'll ask jacob to tag along.

i'm hooked on 24 season 5. tv series in my iPod touch sounds like the best idea. i hope they have the CSIs.

work-at-home day

i realized a lot of things yesterday.

yesterday was a work-at-home day. my boss called it Pure Time. i referred to it as Turning-The-Tide of crazy work.

i realized, first of all, that i need at least one work-at-home day a week. it helps my brain a lot, gives me perspective, and significantly lessens my agitation especially during high-stress periods.

i realized that developing a very good proposal can take half a day. but then you can sleep the sleep of the just afterward.

i realized that so far, i have been the only person in the team trying to figure out how to do things more easily, conveniently and efficiently. most of everyone can be pretty happy with the usual. a handful can even be quite resistant to tweaking routines.

i realized that there could actually be a far simpler solution to all the manpower/equipment/workload challenge we are facing right now.

i realized (again) that i don't have to kill myself many times over to prove my worth all over again.

i realized that i am really pretty good at what i do. and i also believe i am not the only one who can do it. the universe is generous with gifts, and i believe it likes having more of a good thing. i guess i just really need to find the 'others'.

i realized that love really can bring that much positivity and optimism.

i realized (again) that jacob is the one of the bestest, most wonderful story that has ever happened in my entire life.

today's horoscopes

from astrology.com

"You really need to push your brain today -- you're capable of great things! New ideas are flooding your mind so it may be wise for you to step back and see if you can get some help organizing them."

from horoscope.com

"It's raining on Aquarius's highway, but enjoy the drive. After the rain the sun will come out and the flowers will bloom, just like you. Once again being unique has paid off for Aquarius, and it's going to take you on another journey. So, sit back and enjoy the ride."

from chinesezodiachoroscope.com

"The circumstances will impose a renovation in your work and a change in your ingrained habits; adapt yourself without bad grace."

from astrology.proastro.con

"Additional responsibilities are coming your way soon. For the moment you will enjoy a relaxed sense in your home life and domestic harmony as well. You may find yourself wanting to spend more time at home just now--just getting away from the stress and struggle of every day life. Overall your luck should be good during this period too."

from dailyhoroscopes.com

"Your determined efforts and the action to accomplish your goals are the most active parts of your personality. You are alert and intent and determined to meet a schedule that you have created. You do put forth much effort to be quick, precise and as clear as possible. There is however, something missing and you may feel incomplete. By the time this work day is ended you may feel you have missed the longer visits with the public or with your co-workers. It may be too difficult to keep up such a pace every day; consider an adjustment to your personal time when it comes to completing your goals. It is hard to find someone that interacts with others as well as you. A little exercise this evening or playing with the family pet brings stress relief."

from astrocenter.com

"Look before you leap today, dear Aquarius. There is a very good chance of falling if you are not careful. Errors can easily be avoided by simply taking the time to think things through carefully before you act. Also, though you are great about starting projects, you're not so great when it comes to finishing them. Today would be an excellent time to practice your follow-through."

from freehoroscopedaily.com

"You have been driven lately to produce results. The only certainty in life is uncertainty when it comes to working towards an end result. Since results are not guaranteed, the work itself must become the important thing and not what happens as a result. Enjoy the process but don't base your sense of accomplishment on the outcome, which you cannot completely control. A multitude of things may occur beyond your control, others may take credit for your actions, your plans can be interrupted by unforeseen consequences, complete ignorance may prevail. Make the process more important than the end result and you will be less stressed and get more out of it."

brewing solutions

i'm in a bit of a limbo state. it's where i find myself when i'm trying to solve problems. or more positively, puzzles. it's actually work. and i'm logging in these limbo thinking periods into my manhours.

right now i'm marinating multiple problems/ puzzles in my head. all need to be resolved as soon as possible. more specifically, within the week.

i have not yet written anything down. i know i am ready to produce the tangible solutions when i start writing things down. but right now, everything is still pulsing about in my head.

alright, i'll blog in the middle of work

and maybe rant a bit. well, not really rant. more of grumble mumbly.

it seemed that i just blinked and then suddenly there's a fresh load of work pouring in coming in from nowhere. this week i have to deal with three project briefs demanding three proposals.

one of my seniors is taking her wedding leave for practically a whole month and one of my juniors is under-performing. i have discussed matters with my other senior and we agreed we may need to graduate our ways of working into total project independence. so totally no more "buddy" system in whatever form. i become everyone's sounding board instead. which i don't mind.

but for the meantime i have about six projects to juggle among two and a half people.

and three broken video cameras.

all will be well. all will be well. all will be well... *positive thoughts! positive thoughts!*

awwwwwww

an exception story, as HJNTIY would say :D

but i believe everyone is someone's exception. ^__^

three sleepovers and a nap

so it was a long weekend and by thursday night, jacob had started to unintentionally sleep over. honest. and don't get naughty thoughts. it's because we've been playing video games, or watching Iron Chef at 3AM, or watching movies. then we'd realize it's too late/early to go home.

right now he is napping. we just had a full two-hour practice session with some friends and we had a quite heavy snack after (rice and viand, in a chinese restaurant, and we know nothing's "light" in a chinese restaurant). we made a quick detour to buy some movies before heading for home. and now he's napping. he's been nodding off throughout the day. we haven't really had enough proper sleep. we did errands too. brought the PS3 for repairs and now i have to decide if i want to spend another chunk for having the lens changed or just invest in a newer model. i want to play Little Big Planet.

last thursday, L and i got into some hypothetical discussion about possibilities of... spinning off. we're really beginning to get tired of the templates and the mandatory workshops that only teach more templates.

i seriously need to plan my weekly menus.

i didn't get to do much personal this long weekend because i was only too willing to spend the time with jacob. the downside is, now i have to cram what i didn't get to do during the weekdays. oh well. the time with jacob was well worth it. ^___^

snoop oops

i didn't mean to. but her name would not leave my head so i had to exorcise it.

jacob used my internet to check his email and forgot to log out. when i tried to log in, his account was still open and there was a message from a girl whose first name matched that of his ex. it was a request to add him to her chat list.

so i couldn't get her name out of my head so i googled her. and i came to enough information to deduce that she is indeed the ex.

and i know jacob has said before (months before we even got together), when ukitake asked him, that he has totally moved on. but now i can perfectly understand girls who could not help feeling that twinge of jealousy and apprehension (especially if you saw pics and could not help admitting she is kinda pretty, and very young).

anyway, as The Secret says, believe that it is yours and the Universe will move accordingly.

jacob is mine. i am his exception. *mad look* *LOL*

lunch with edward

... and jinta. although edward was the one who initiated the invitation. fifteen months ago i would have died at the thought and would have probably offered a limb for the possibility.

but as with all things edward, everything is just too late. and so i sat there happily munching my way through a huge bowl of roka salata, bella-ache-proof.

and moments like these only serve to affirm my love for jacob. ^__^

bugged

i'm still getting that antsy, restless, agitated, bugged feeling and i'm not sure where it's coming from. still can't put a finger on it.

on a positive note: jacob dropped by last night. i prepared tacos for dinner. he said he was going home early. he was particularly exhausted last night from work and practice. but he ended up leaving at around 230AM (why do i never get used to this? hahaha! even since we were just starting to hang out he ALWAYS ends up going home at least two hours later than he had originally planned.)

he sketched out some plans for friday since it's going to be a holiday. and he said he might drop by again tonight so we can watch Breaking the Magician's Code together at 9PM.

aagh. this agitation is a bummer.

new kitchen stuff!

okay, so my shopping-for-home mojo is not missing. i finally got a hand mixer for making all those cheesecakes and muffins. and i finally got a griller! yay!

finally got around to claiming a free mobile phone -- i got it from purchasing my ref last october.

finally got around to picking up a few personal stuff from my parents' house, specifically a boxful of photo negatives which i intend to get converted digitally.

i'm home now and i will plan a menu for the week, clean up my desk area and do some yoga later in the evening.

my shopaholic mojo is missing!

i'm on leave today to process some papers for my home loan. but that won't take me all day. i had originally planned to turn the rest of the day into a shopping day to spruce up my wardrobe. but now all i want to do is stay home and CLEAN UP. there's a bit of a clutter-clearing mood hovering and i just can't seem to rest until my place is perfectly in order. nothing useless, everything with a purpose.

hmmm, maybe that's a pre-requisite before i get my shopping mojo back. clear away more of the old to make way for the new.

in any case, i am almost literally running out of things to wear. more than half my clothes are too worn out and many don't match anymore because their matches have been disposed of previously.

another possibility: plan a wardrobe and have my dressmaking aunt make it. hmm. sounds like a good (and inexpensive) idea.

okay, leaving now to get some legal documents, then lunch at my parents' house and then back home. maybe when i've worked things out better at home my mojo will return.

errand day tomorrow

i need to process some documents for my loan release next month so i'm taking a leave tomorrow.

luckily, tomorrow turned out to be a rally day in the business district so i'm glad i timed my leave perfectly.

exhausted

i just realized now why i felt so exhausted last night that i literally just peeled off my clothes and dropped into bed when i got home. i only had two hours of sleep, was in the office by 7AM, worked straight until lunch and then lunch with my best friend T, and then worked straight until an unexpected extension of a meeting that had me leaving the office an hour and a half later than i had planned. traffic was bad and it took me more than an hour to get to my parents house to pick my sister so we could go to the supermarket. supermarket shopping was a bit rushed because it was the last open hour. then took my sister home before i finally got home. i arrived home at almost 11PM.

jacob wasn't feeling well and stayed home. he was planning to spend the evening with me and have us watch an awaited AXN (or was it NG) program together. in a way it was a blessing in disguise because i got caught up in a series of delays and rushes and would not have been able to really spend time with him. i would have also been too tired and would finally end up falling asleep on my face while he's there.

today the weather is still grayish although i can see the sun trying to peek through the thick rainclouds. i'm thinking of sneaking out early from work to sleep.

keeping busy

jacob has been under the weather since monday. and i'm assuming that's why he's been so quiet. sleeping all day.

meanwhile i'm keeping myself busy with work (as if i need to exert any effort to be that). i am still getting that antsy, restless feeling about work.

today i deliberately made myself have a day-away. in the process i got myself a bit updated about what's new in the malls and i also got some bursts of inspiration on how to get through some minor mental blockages particularly about the training modules that seem to be taking forever to get sorted out.

i thought i'd get some retail therapy but surprisingly i could not muster enough enthusiasm to engage in it. i just ended up buying an extra saucepan, some storage boxes and a boxed set of Leopard, iLife and iWork (much cheaper than actually getting myself a new Macbook -- i'll just spruce up my iMac).

O-C heaven, part 2

O-C heaven

a song for jacob ^__^

yay! my decal has shipped!

i ordered this from Etsy last week. i've decided that this is what i want to put on the wall by my bed. ^__^

O

do you remember Sesame Street and how each episode is sponsored by two letters and a number?

well today i would like to pay tribute to the letter "O".

^_____^ *grin*

thanks martha

this gives me an idea ^__^

trayed muffin

instead of the usual muffin cups i felt like making muffin trays.

i baked while watching Twilight, on a twilight-weather-sunday. ^__^

fried chicken

lightly season chicken with salt and pepper
coat chicken pieces in a mixture of:

1 fresh egg
1 tbsp of soy sauce
1 tbsp of sesame oil

then shake the eggy chicken pieces into a well-sealed bag or plastic of:

all-purpose flour
with 3 tbsp of ground ginger
1 tsp salt
1 tsp pepper

heat deep-frying oil. then drop the chicken pieces in.

dipping options:
- soy sauce mixed with some sweet-chili sauce
- soy sauce with squeezed lime
- hot sauce

cats and dogs

it's been raining all afternoon and it really poured just when i was planning to step out to check the factory outlet of a home store near my place. so i was not able to go. bummer.

meanwhile i'm waiting for jacob to message me on plans for the rest of the day. for myself i have finished doing my weekend chores. i am contemplating baking some muffins but i feel kinda lazy too. and i feel like i don't want to cook dinner. i think i want to eat out, or at least eat something ready-cooked.

my best friend T's cat Crinky is in the hospital and is in critical condition. :( i hope he pulls through.

voiceless but lovefull

i lost my voice this morning.

i've been feeling a mild sore throat since wednesday. and then i did a lot of training (a.k.a. a LOT of talking) from wednesday to friday.

thursday the sniffles slowly crept in.

friday the sniffles were undeniably present. jacob got them too. the throat got more tickly-itchy-sore.

this morning i woke up and the voice was gone, i could only squeak, whisper and wildly gesture.

hence i could not practice and jacob advised i stay home and sleep it off. he forbade anything with sugar and ice. recommended soups and fresh juices and gargling with medicated washes meant for sore throats.

last night jacob took me out on a date. we had baby back ribs and lots and lots of onion rings.

i think i'll stay in all evening tonight. the group will be watching the latest Terminator movie but i'm not too keen on it anyway. and with my voice gone i don't feel like having to deal with edward's bullying.

jacob said he'll come home to me straight after the group night-out in case i won't make it. something perfect to look forward to.

back on the grind

i did a lot of catching up on work today.

there was one particular incident that got me really pissed but only for a few seconds. after those few seconds i immediately realized it is so not worth it (ironic, considering the tagline of the brand, LOL). so instead of getting myself all worked up over what is essentially nothing (like the nothingness of certain brains and the absence of common sense) i proceeded to address the issue with concrete next steps. i was mildly surprised at myself for not even feeling slightly panicked or threatened by insinuations of reports reaching my boss. i know where i stand.

anyway. enough negative thoughts. that's just about what i would allow myself to rant about. on to happy things...

such as jacob asking after me today and checking if i went to work or stayed at home ^___^

and finding out that my reputation still holds. all that goodwill paying off. i'm a notorious workaholic, it seems. that's good. heehee.

i think i want breakfast for dinner tonight. some bread and eggs and spanish sardines and maybe a couple of strips of bacon and lots of ice-cold apple juice.

a shutdown

i've been on sick leave for two days. the worst period cramps ever. and somehow it seemed the rest of the exhaustion i have not recovered from since january decided to take their toll as well. i slept for most of the two days. ate and slept. and slept some more. and took pain meds in between to help ease the aches.

i felt so physically and mentally tired. my emotional highs could not hold me up. and i guess it was a good thing that my emotions were at least strongly positive. because otherwise i think i could have easily been a vegetable of some sort.

jacob brought me healthy fruit drinks and made sure i ate and checked regularly on how i felt.

i'm planning to go back to work today, although my body feels it could use a couple more days of shutdown, sleep more. just be mentally empty for a little more while.

attitude of gratitude

i think it's time to make a gratitude list again. ^__^

i am thankful for:

- having been able to catch up on some rest today
- the back massage my mom gave me to ease the aches i've been feeling all day
- the calm i am feeling despite the knowledge of the work i have to catch up on tomorrow
- the infinite flow of ideas and solutions as i aim to make my work less dominant of my whole life
- my job. i know many people would trade a finger or more for something like it.
- my skills in doing my job. because it makes balancing work and life a bit easier.
- my health. because the only thing i complain about are occasional aches caused by my own bad habits. i am strong, young and capable of many more things.
- my own space. because it helps make more beautiful stories happen.
- my knack for cooking. because food comforts and cheers and bonds.
- my parents and my sister.
- my humongous stock of goodwill accumulated through the years. because now i'm enjoying their benefits.
- mogget. who warms my feet and my heart.
- jacob. who makes me so happy, and teaches me so much about love.

mogget and a glimpse of the muse's inspiration

the creative muse returns with a bit of a vengeance

i slept at 3AM.

because i could not stop myself. it was like the urge of an addiction. almost on impulse i have started working on my photo/collage wall and then i got lost in it. hours trickled by unnoticed. i paused only to realize i was hungry and then realized it was almost 2AM.

jacob dropped by to fix my speakers and as he worked i worked, absorbed like a little kid, cutting and tearing and layering and all at the same time all the memories of doing this kind of art from years past come flooding back. inspired, i think, is the perfect word. inspired and in love.

jacob and i had breakfast at 230AM, of bacon and eggs and orange juice.

now i wish i didn't have to go to work. i want to pore over my bantock and hodgson books. i want to dig through my souvenir box and find old photographs and spin more wishes and dreams because more than a photo/collage wall it is also a wish wall, a vision wall. a wall of good and beautiful and happy things. a wall crafted with lots of happy love.

anchovy garlic butter

i modified the original recipe a bit more than the usual because i was really out of supplies. but the result was still yummy and i think i have a potential christmas gift goodie.

1/4 cup softened butter
2 tbsp crushed anchovies
2 tbsp crushed garlic
1 teaspoon lemongrass (the recipe asked for lemon or lime but i'm out so i used a thai crushed lemongrass mix from a bottle)
pepper

1. mix garlic with butter. add pepper.
2. add anchovies.
3. add lemongrass

serve on fresh cooked meats. it gets melty and yummy!

bistek tagalog modified

ingredients:
4 pcs pork steak (i love monterey meats)
olive oil
salt
pepper
onions
soy sauce
about 2-3 tbsp butter

1. marinade pork steak in olive oil, salt, pepper
2. broil pork in oven (i use a toaster oven) for about 25-30 mins
3. melt butter in pan
4. saute onions until onions have that cooked look
5. add soy sauce (depends on how much sauce you want). let simmer for about half a minute.
6. add broiled pork steak, turning over to let it get some toasty edges. just do this for about half a minute
7. take out pork, arrange on plate. then pour sauce with onions on top.

tomato salsa from leftover veggies

i was going to have fried burger patties for dinner the other night and i just could not have it plain. so i rummaged around and found the following:

2 small carrots
8 small tomatoes
2 small red bell peppers
1 medium onion
1 tbsp of leftover tomato basil dip
1 small pouch of tomato sauce
some fresh basil

1. heat some olive oil. throw in the onions.
2. throw in everything else. cook until the tomatoes look juicy.
3. add tomato sause. (and i also added in the leftover tomato basil dip)
4. let simmer for about 2-3 minutes
5. add fresh basil.

great as sauce or dip for fried and grilled meats. jacob specifically mentioned it tasted good. ^___^

spicy tawilis

i have fresh tawilis vacationing in the freezer for a while and needed to get it consumed. i thought about cooking and preserving it in some way, like spicy tuyo (herring). so i found a spicy tuyo recipe. and since i haven't gone to the supermarket and has severe lack of most ingredients, i made do.

ingredients:
fresh tawilis (i had about 8-10 big pieces, each piece about 5-6 inches)
1/4 cup canola oil
1/4 cup olive oil
1/4 cup vinegar
1 teaspoon of cayenne pepper
about 2 tbsp of crushed garlic

1. quick fry the tawilis in hot oil. set aside. (i removed the head and tail)
2. heat canola and olive oil
3. add garlic and cook until slightly browned and starting to get crispy at the edges
4. add vinegar and cayenne pepper. bring to a happy boil.
5. add the fish. let fry for about 2 minutes.
6. transfer to a bowl or container. it should keep for a few days.

blueberry night

last night jacob helped me make a big tray of blueberry cheesecake. ^__^ he cleaned up the table and put away the dishes and dinner leftovers while i prepped the ingredients. then he took over the mixing until the cheese was all smooth and well-blended with the cream.

i want

this monogram rub-on from the scrap-it store

secondary sponsor :)

i have never been a bridesmaid nor have i performed any significant part in any one's wedding.

so i believe this is all good signs that i will be secondary sponsor at nanao-chan's and shunsui's wedding in december. and jacob will be my partner and we will be doing the cord. ^___^

there's going to be dress fitting on the 12th of june. i saw the design pegs and there's about three i like. ^___^

i'm going to be wearing a pretty dress and marching down the aisle! hahaha! things have really changed!

photo wall ideas

(the photos are not mine, by the way.)

more!

i cleaned out my closet tonight (hmm, it's technically wednesday so i guess i should say last night...)

i have reduced my clothes to a SINGLE rack.

i have actually created more SPACE inside my closet. even after i have stored my large luggage that has been lounging in the bedroom area. so yes now there's SPACE in my bedroom area.

i also discovered a computer voltage regulator hiding among the clutter. i have dusted it off and plan to use it because jacob has been telling me i should have one for my iMac.

i've taken some original CDs out of storage for playing in my new system. the difference from an iPod compressed file is amazing! now i feel like shopping for CDs ^___^

i've also fixed my mac desk. it's now looking lovely.




i just need to get around now to my photo wall /bantock wall/ vision wall.

i want to do this to the wall by my desk (i'm so sorry i can't remember where i got this photo.)

checklist, again

i finished quite a handful of tasks today:

- paid off my cable tv and broadband subscription
- paid off what i owe in my sister's credit card (i had her use it to cover for the groceries last month because i couldn't get to the ATMs in time)
- filed for my gas allowance for april (almost -- i'm waiting for a few more receipts)
- visited Japan Home Center and got that glass container i needed, plus a couple of food containers that i also realized i needed
- fixed that little work wrinkle (took me two hours to smooth everything out but i did it, in my usual superwoman, effy-savvy way, heehee)
- drafted at least three work documents
- encashed my March gas allowance check (which i thought i'd lost)

checklist

what i've done yesterday and today:

~ checked out mixers and food processors. found a good candidate from moulinex.
~ found a potential dustbuster from black & decker
~ finally replaced my under-bed-storage. now all my curtains and blankets and bedsheets are neatly put away
~ finally replaced my bedside lamp with a more striking one. the old lamp i put on my mac desk instead and the light works perfectly. i have replaced the halogen desk lamp because i find its light too sharp
~ changed my bedsheets
~ finally fixed my foyer table decor, including replacing my love-plant's container
~ bought extra oil burners for a more effective room scenting
~ bought perfect cd and dvd containers, and i've fixed them as well.
~ finally got a repository for all those remote controls
~ finally replaced the batteries in my aircon remote control
~ disposed of that overflowing collection of plastic bags i will never get around to using all of
~ finally got a storage shelf for my wash area

i also got me a black silky nightrobe. and five new pairs of lacy fun undies on sale from la senza.

treated my mom to a day at the spa for her mother's day gift.

met up with jacob at the mall and we browsed and shopped together for a few hours. then we went home (he to his house and me to mine). he just bought new stuff for his audio system and he couldn't wait to tinker with them.

i picked up my sis from our parents' house and bullied her into staying over at the condo. we're watching Twilight in a while.

just as i thought

we went back for the receiver last night and... it has been sold out.

but, the new deliveries have come in and we found an even better unit, same brand as we originally planned to get. and when i saw it i knew i was right in not allowing myself to be cornered into a compromised purchase a couple of days ago.

so i got the better unit and this time my card swiped without any hassle (their machine was finally online). even jacob raved positively about my new toy as he was setting it up.

and it did turn out to be a very good buy. from the original price of Php25T i got it for a mere Php7.5T.

and i also got to check off some items from my home-to-do-and buy list. ^__^

and jacob brought me two loaves of delicious bread from this more than thirty years old bakery somewhere in QC. he's been telling me about it and wanted me to taste it. he said it was one of the good and happy things from since his childhood.

will take pics of my system and post them within the next few days ^___^

reined in

i was almost the new owner of a new receiver for my home theater. but then i felt the universe was telling me to hold off for a while:

- the brand and model we were originally targeting just ran out.
- the store was supposed to have a delivery last night but it never came.
- it took jacob a while to fully decide that getting the other brand is as good as getting the first brand we originally planned to get. we had to do a Q&A session between ourselves working out the pros and cons clearly in our heads.
- when we finally decided to get the other brand, the swiping machine won't work.

the store suggested we pay in cash and i almost did but then i flashed back on all those little bumps and i thought, maybe, i should just come back and see.

i need to catch up on some sleep. badly.

one moon cycle

one moon cycle ago today when jacob and i decided to cross that line.

just thought i'd mention it. ^__^

last night i watched a movie (Priceless, starring that Amelie girl) and the latest Supernatural episode. while jacob tinkered with the home theaters and tried to figure out how to get rid of all the little staticky noises and other sounds that are not supposed to be there. he even bought me a quite expensive cable connector that got rid of a loud hum everytime i plugged my subwoofer in.

anyway after much experimentation and solution-seeking, it looks like i will soon need to upgrade my receiver if i want to get the best of both worlds. as i just recently discovered the joys of listening to certain kind of music on my system (such as Emi Fujita, and Pachebel's Canon), i now would want to be able to listen to music and watch movies in all their audal glory. but if want both i would either have to go through the hassling task of switching cables (because my current receiver is a second-hand unit that served me well for the past year for my movie-viewing but i never asked it to be a music expert too), or get a better unit that could do both with the flick of a remote.

i know this all sounds bluh-bluh-bluh but the point is, i don't want to compromise on my 5.1. theater experience nor do i want to give up the newly-discovered music listening option.

so there's this pretty nice unit on sale (70% off). a couple of years ago i would have spent the same amount it costs on a couple of original PS3 games. so i guess this is not a bad purchase to make.

this whole home theater project was the tipping point a year ago of my jacob story.

and now it looks like it's gearing up for a new evolving chapter.

still alive

so i survived practice. and surprisingly i did not have as much of a hard time as i thought i would. i did have more than enough reserve strength and energy despite my not having worked out properly for the past two weeks.

last night i dreamed about fixing my place. i dreamed i was sweeping out a lot of dried leaves (??!!) and also re-arranging furniture and even trying to kick out my sister who has somehow ended up sleeping in the attic or under the stairs or something (hahaha!)

i think i'm going to do that now. fixing my place, i mean. not kicking out my sister (because there is no attic and no under-the-stairs) and she's not here. hahaha!

i started a new blog just for jacob. so i could devote this one on my home and my recent love for design and home-decorating and food and cooking. of course i'll still post about jacob here, but i will be writing about the more heart-felt jacob stuff in the other blog.

so there. off to put up those poppies!

about to kill myself

well, i'm being melodramatic.

will be going to practice later and i have not properly prepped myself. was not able to run or do yoga. and i will be coming back after two weeks of no practice. so, good luck to me. (although, for some reason, a part of me knows i could do it. but a part of me just always wants to fret.)

not-s0-good thing though, i slept at 530AM this morning, woke up at 12noon. so technically i did not have a night's sleep.

meanwhile i'm making a list of stuff i need to do to get the place ready for the 16th, and the rest of my wonderful love-life:

- put up those poppy decals!
- put up the black fringe curtain for the wash area
- buy a storage cabinet for the wash area
- donate all the plastic bags to my mom and just keep some for emergency and keep them someplace else other than the wash area
- start bringing my envirosax for shopping as shopping bags
- buy two more sets of bedsheets
- buy proper decor for the foyer table
- buy a new shower curtain
- fix the paint on all the blue furniture
- do a photo wall on the blue cabinet wall
- print the photos for the photo wall
- fix all my CDs and DVDs and that whole desk area shelf - it's too cluttered. i'm sure there's a lot more stuff i could dispose of
- decide on what to do with the bedroom walls, what to put on it
- finally get around to changing the light fixtures by the door and over the desk area
- new lamps for the desk area and the bedside table
- hanging trinkets from the light fixture in the bedroom area
- fix the corkboard over the iMac
- buy new under-bed storage for my curtains, blankets and bedsheets
- fix my bed-side table - i'm considering a nice black lacey cloth to cover it or something, i need to give it more personality and a much better lamp

hmm.. that's about it for now. i'm sure there's a few more i missed but i'll list those when i remember them.

now i think i should have some lunch.

housewarming : fire and flowers

so here's the first of a series of housewarmings i plan to have. it's themed as beltane. also known as may day. celebration of summer and fertility.

it would be challenging to feed ten people a full meal with my limited space. so instead, i will feed everyone dessert and coffee.

the menu will consist of:
- my homemade blueberry cheesecake
- a fondue, with eight different items for dipping
- coffee, teas, fruit juices, iced teas

fondue trivia : Fondue tradition states that if you drop the food off of the fork, and into the pot, you have to kiss the person next to you.

then i'll have the runes and tarot cards on hand, in case anyone feels supernatural.

and supposedly, this is also the time when jacob and i would confirm things......

love love love

i just felt like writing that. love love love.

anyway, i'm seriously contemplating making a dent on my untouched vacation leaves. i'm not sure if i want to travel because i need to save up for when my condo payment shifts to the loan this july. but i do want to spend more time with jacob.

i'm finally pinning down a housewarming date. starting with the group. on the 16th of may. and i'm thinking of beltane as a theme, and serve dessert and drinks after we have dinner after practice. beltane is usually celebrated around the 11th or 15th so the saturday right after those dates should be perfect. i'll need flowers and then candles for the "bonfire". and maybe a miniature maypole. and some gaelic/celtic happy music. hmm... this is all beginning to sould like a good plan.

for dessert i'm thinking my blueberry cheesecake, and fondue. for drinks i'll have tea, coffee, and maybe some interesting fruit juices or iced teas. hmm.. i think i'll need to do some research and also start making a shopping list.

and now maybe i could start nibbling at those VLs. i could take a leave the friday before. and maybe jacob could come over to help out a bit ^__^

this means i have less than two weeks to finish up on my decors and to do a thorough cleaning. ooh. goals with a deadline. just like the usual. hahahaha!

eight hour work days

i came in at almost 10am today because my car is on coding and i had to ride with my dad.

hence i'm going home at 8pm. i am so determined to keep to my eight hour work day routine.

i curled my hair today, and i don't know if i can sustain the habit of an extra half-hour just primping my hair. but the outcome is quite good.

jacob messaged today and it is like a burst of sunshine on this gray rainy day.

i cleared a presentation for the first time with my new boss and i had my little anxiety attack but it all turned out well.

i just wish the meeting tomorrow will be moved back to our office instead of all the way to client's office.

a four-day work week. yay!

it's a holiday on friday. the group might go to Ocean Park or something.

in any case, it's a four-day work week. a most pleasant thought.

i brought my dear friend grumpy some of my blueberry cheesecake. it was his birthday over the weekend. he gave my cheesecake a thumbs up -- yay!

meanwhile, jacob also loved my blueberry cheesecake and even took home some. ^___^

i had lunch with grumpy today and i got some juicy updates on his heart-life and a free lunch. heehee.

i'm making progress on the training modules. am going slow but hopefully, surely.

i have a little project to do, something for presentation on wednesday afternoon. but my boss has expressedly told me not to kill myself over it. hahaha! so i'm doing that along with the modules. and i'm keeping to eight hours of working for the day.

i am currently hooked on the Twilight soundtrack for some reason. it's only now that i seem to be able to appreciate it. i actually played it in the car yesterday, while jacob and i were on our way to the mall. ^__^

i bought new speakers for my home theater, and now it's sounding much much better. i was so tempted to call in sick today so i could do DVD marathons all day. hahahaha!

spring fling

sort of.

in any case it means i didn't practice and instead had myself pampered at the salon.

but this would be the last of it.

next week is going to be the start of super serious practice and gritting my teeth through all the vomity stressful anxiety.

i had the driest parts of my hair chopped off, which meant i have medium length hair now, and layered to force the waves to... well, wave. i look like a modernized version of jennifer aniston in her Friends days.

practice plan and contract with myself

never miss another day of practice unless absolutely, absolutely, necessary.
religiously do at least an hour of treadmill at a minimum of 3 times a week.
practice form at a minimum of 3 times a week.
do yoga at a minimum of 2 times a week.

if i break any of these i should pay a fine.
maybe my sister will be a most willing recipient.

fixing my .mac blog

i'm getting around to setting up my very own .mac blog. i already have the welcome page design:

now it's just a matter of moving and consolidating posts scattered all over the web and across multiple blogs!

food shots

here's what i've been cooking up in the past couple of weeks: