scaredy cat

i had all the time in the world last night. but i couldn't do it.

somehow, as he always does, he did just enough to make me feel that my apprehensions were groundless.

and then only when i was in bed, trying to sleep, did i remember the things that make me question the status quo in the first place.

and then all the soul-sickness come pouring back in.

but i understand too the value of perfect timing. and last night even if i consciously made myself aware, it did not feel like the time.

but i seriously feel i should start considering to consult medical help for the stress. i haven't eaten properly in days.