every time i decide to walk away, something else tells me not to.
every night now i have been visited by dreams where he holds me, stopping me, saying and doing all the fairy tale things.
every morning i wake up almost assured it will be worth all the wait.
every evening i go to sleep certain it will be best to just start peeling away the hope.
i could not quite get back to that numb state where i am safe.
where i could just wrap it all up and push it in a corner and start forgetting, start pretending it has never happened.
we are hanging on a moment. a moment when i was without doubt he would have stepped over the much-scuffed line we've been pacing about.
but now there is only all this silence and i am terrified of breaking anything, especially my own heart.
the universe continues to give me mixed signs. yet adamantly pushes me back whenever i head for the fire exit.
i have asked the question : to leap or not to leap.
i am waiting for answers.
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