new moon

you know how it is when a story sort of goes on a flatline for a while and then something jolts it back into crazy?

that's what happened saturday.

totally unexpected. typical cosmic joke style of the universe. even i, with my vivid and convoluted imagination, did not foresee Things unfolding or revealing in the ways it did.

let me just say that one of the questions that have always caused me much concern, that is, whether this had all been delusional, has been answered. the answer may not be a hundred percent but a significant enough percentage to fund a whole new season, a whole new volume. welcome 2009.

here's another unexpected twist. didn't i just mention i only expected to see people/ certain persons once during the holidays? as it turned out, i've spent the last three days with jacob.

i have never seen jacob behave in a way that challenged edward's position and role in the group, but that's how he's been behaving recently. and edward has been responding in ways that hint at his defenses being breached.

so many details i would love to share but they will have to go in my other private written journal. too risky to write here.