friday night

i had this image in my head after i had hugged jacob merry christmas the last time we saw each other before christmas. i imagined that the group would meet up again once after christmas and before new year. and then before he dropped me off i would either find an excuse to have him go up to my place or even find a way to do it in the car. no, nothing drastic. i was just imagining that maybe i could get/give a longer hug, and maybe manage to get/give a kiss. again, nothing drastic, just maybe a kiss planted closer to the lips, or near the ear and maybe coupled with the whisper of a little riddle. i don't know. i was simply trying to imagine a scene that could maybe help ease this wish clogging my reason.

in any case i was only hoping for one more meeting. then it could be the perfect setting for a pre-new-year little cliffhanger of an episode.

so edward did follow up on meeting up today. as predicted, jacob messaged me to check on my availability. he picked me up later on with ukitake (who moved to the back seat saying i should not have to sit with the mess.)

so there was dinner after much shopping and browsing (done separately and edward suggested at one point that i hang out with him instead and to let jacob and ukitake go off on their own. of course, i stuck with jacob.) when i mentioned it to jacob he said edward was probably feeling "insecure". i wasn't sure exactly what he meant but i just said something like he needs to be in that position once in a while.

(other details that would go in my other journal: coffins, veins and blood-drinking)

instead of a movie (because i had unconsciously blurted out my lack of fondness for local films) we went to a starbucks and had long crazy conversations about anime, childhood toys and games, among other things. ukitake even decided i'll be his resource person for his daughter, who was also born an aquarius. he said he wants proper role models for his daughter. i think he was intrigued by my comment that it's okay to indulge her in her little princess fantasies.

later in the night somehow i found myself part of a plan to play ---- airsoft. i blinked in part disbelief as i realized i have been included in the plan and ukitake was really encouraging me to participate. he said i would have fun hunting each one of them in turn. (i think i wanted to laugh out loud at that moment.) as jacob and ukitake laid out the plans, edward started to become more silent.

later on, i commented to jacob about it and he said it's because edward is no longer in control. it was already territory that wasn't familiar to him and he couldn't be alpha. jacob said something along the lines of "he couldn't always be alpha dog".

so here's the thing. i met with them tonight and i'm seeing them again on monday. so i don't really know if i'll get the chance to do my crazy kiss thing. anyway, we'll see.

jacob even invited me to join their "secret practice" on monday morning, an activity that is not exactly condoned by edward because it could cause trouble with the club authorities. but i think i'll join the secret practice. i want to see nanao-chan and shunsui. bahala na.

at this point, i feel as if the cards are turning out unknown arcanas.

the fairy tale is spinning in a blur of tricky twists towards a happily ever after.