finally surfacing for air

i think i've hit rock-bottom. or pretty close to it. in any case i think i am now swimming/ drifting towards the surface. soon i will see the water become more blue than black, sunlight filtering in. and then the breaking through the shimmery surface and breathing in a lungful of air, feeling the hot sun on my cold cold face.

this morning i bumped a man on a bike. he fell because he lost his balance but he was quick to forgive me. even the policeman only gave me a light warning. upon hindsight i think there was not supposed to be a man on a bike along that main road at all...

when i got to the office i realized i felt hungry.

i have begun to eat again. and i have started to remember how to laugh again.

today i also finally did the boss thing and said what needed to be said. after the talk i could hear the light chatter slowly creep back into the girls' cubes. i guess i have not been the only holding my breath all this time. but now i think the lines have been drawn and defined, and expectations have been made clear.

there was also a management meeting this morning and things are looking optimistic. again, parameters have been set, definitions clarified. rules of engagement agreed upon.

i have a pretty good outline for a presentation after holy week. i believe it might open up new business for the team.

i had lunch with the purpledragon and we talked about how our lives would change when we finally commit ourselves.

just when i begin to think there is nothing else left, something shifts as if on cue.